I'm Not The Violent One, She Is.

For the second time this year, I made a presentation to a roomful of domestic violence perpetrators. Im sure all 49 of them would rather have been somewhere else than a meeting room at the South Precinct of the Everett Police Department. But the courts and a woman's shelter thought it might be a good idea for them to hear from someone like me, a survivor who has spent years researching lecturing, and writing about domestic violence. And who knows, maybe it did ... but I doubt it. Here's why: At the end of my talk, I went into the hall and was approached by one of the guys in the audience. For a split-second I thought he might go ballistic on me, but then I remembered we were inside a police station. No, what he wanted to tell me ... what he wanted me to really understand ... was that HE wasn't the violent one in his marriage. HE was the victim! It was his wife who attacked him, and because of HER he was going to lose everything! And there it was: he didn't get it. These guys just ... don't ... get ... it, and the cycle of domestic violence continues.

Pamela