Domestic Violence and Thanksgiving Flu

As a survivor of domestic violence, the trauma – even now, years later – still manages to jump up and bite me. Usually it occurs in the late fall, and it’s always the same: I’m overwhelmed with symptoms not much different than the flu – headache, body ache, moodiness. But the symptoms are also accompanied with a wave of anxiety, fear, and depression. “That’s not the flu,” I think to myself. “That’s ...” And then I remember what happened at this time so many years ago, and I want to run to the bathroom and let go.

Now that I’ve gotten through another of these “anniversaries”, I want to share with you why I call it my Thanksgiving Flu:

To begin, I survived seven years at the hands of abuse from a violent, violent man. How violent? In addition to the beatings I suffered, my ex almost beat to death my 18-month-old Golden Retriever puppy. Fortunately, I managed to get my dog out of the house only to have my ex steal my other dog, Brandy. No one could help me, not even the police. And I lived everyday for six weeks in fear of finding pieces of Brandy on my front porch. Six weeks later, a judge ordered my dog returned to me. The pick-up was arranged at a mutual friend’s apartment, and by some miracle, Brandy was returned unhurt ... on Thanksgiving night.

I thought that would be the end of my torment. How naive I was. In fact, it was only the beginning of five years – five years! – of my being stalked. Now, the anniversary of that night comes and goes; sometimes with an uneventful remembering and acknowledging. Other years -- like this year – I catch a bad case of the Thanksgiving Flu. And the events of that awful night come flooding back. In case you’re wondering, though, I’m feeling a lot better now.

Pamela